No more reality, please!
by bohena
Summary: After a crazy night of drinking, a writer begins to take control.


**No more reality, please.**

Olivia walked down the sidewalk towards Company, when she thought she heard someone utter, "Oh God, I'm drunk!" Confused, she looks around to see who is talking.

"Shit, she heard me!" the woman's voice says, "Go back to what you're supposed to do," the voice commands.

With one eyebrow raised, and appearing as though she's listening intently, Crystal said to herself, "That wasn't in the script." Though she's puzzled, she returned to her original task, which was walking to Company looking for Frank. As she entered the diner, she noticed Marina at the counter and walked up to her.

"Good morning, Marina," she said with a smile, "Has your father been in yet?"

Marina looked up from the counter half distracted and replied "No." but then paused. "I would guess he's at work right now. By the way, your friend Natalia is really becoming a pain in his side. Could you say something to her, you know, try to straighten her out?"

Olivia smirked a little and then began to break into a giggle. "Ok, what's up, Mandy?" she asked. "You had that same line yesterday. Is this some kind of joke?" She turned to Bruce Barry, directing the shot and quizzically asked, "How can we make the same lame joke two days in a row? Who wrote this?" With fake laughter she continued, 'She can't be straightened out by me because she's turning in to my lesbian lover…' I got it the first time, and I would guess the viewers will too. Though she said this with a laugh, she was serious.

"Crystal, you're breaking away from the script again," replied the director. "Just read what's in the script. Let's try this take again; we're running behind today."

Shaking her head, she mumbled, "Well, ok, but that's the same line that was said yesterday to Frank by Marina. But you're the big boss."

Bruce directed the cameramen to begin taping once again, and as soon as the scene began to be reshot, Olivia heard the woman's voice chuckle, "I thought that line was pretty funny!"

Olivia turned, looking around at the crew on the set "OK! Who said that?"

"Cut! Crystal, is something wrong?" asked Bruce, with a slight note of irritation in his voice.

"Didn't you hear a voice say something?" she replied, "I think she said she thought the line was funny."

Bruce shook his head. "Perhaps you need to take a break. While you read over the script and learn your lines," he directs her, "Let's bring Jessica out and we'll prep for scene 7."

The voice laughed once again "Ha Ha! Bring her out! Good one! Out of what, the closet?"

Crystal stopped everyone from moving, "Hold on, didn't you just hear that woman crack a joke?"

One of the writers, Chris Dunn, raised his head and asked "What woman? Is the joke on us?...You must really be stressed..." but the he continued, "was the joke funny?"

Crystal just shook her head and replied, "She just said something about Jess coming out of the closet." Her comment was followed by a little chuckle from some of the crew. "No, it wasn't funny. OK, maybe a little funny, but not really. I need a rest. I'm hearing things!" She walked away from the Company set, leaving her colleagues confused by her weird actions.

"Not funny?" the voice said, sounding hurt. "I think I need another drink!"

Crystal, perplexed, surrendered to the voice in her heard and agreed, "get me one while you're at it."

Crystal is now wondering what is going on, why she can hear a woman's voice as plain as day and no one else can hear it. She found a chair where she could sit on the set at Cross Creek and sat by herself. Everything was quiet on the set; the voice had not followed her. This must be a joke she thought. Who's that idiot who pulls pranks? Ashton Kutcher. Maybe I'm being punked or something. She decided to see if it was just her, if she was stressed out, so she called out, "Well, I'm waiting! What's going on? Where are you?" Silence followed.

"Who are you?"

Still silence….

A little laughter started the conversation, "I'm God!" exclaimed the voice.

Crystal was disbelieving, but she replied to the voice with a dramatic gasp "God? Really? God?"

More merry laughter followed. "Ok, you've got me! I'm not God. No. I'm a writer, and I was writing you into a story and here you are…in my story."

Crystal still sounded incredulous. "Really?" she repeated as she furrowed her brow. "What are you, really? A ghost? A stalker?"

"No! Not a ghost. I've never had this before with one of my characters!" The voice slurred the last bit of her reply. "Perhaps I've been drinking too much!"

Intrigued, Crystal asked, "What are you having?"

"The local brew pub has the most incredible IPA! I've had four or five pints of it tonight." The voice continued, "And I just sat down with my computer…felt a bit like Hemingway, getting all stoned to write. This is pretty cool!"

The voice then commanded Crystal to place her hand over her eyes.

Crystal was feeling a little foolish, but she obeyed the voice and placed her hands over her eyes.

More laughter followed and the voice happily called out "Dance, puppet! Dance!"

Crystal removed her hands quickly, looking side to side, around the room. "What the hell? Where are you? Aren't you going to show yourself?"

"Hee Hee! No! I just wanted to see if you would listen to me and do what I say!"

Somewhat angry now, Crystal rapidly stood up and shouted "You may be a lousy writer, you may be in my crazy-ass head, but you're not my director!" And as she began to walk away from the set, another voice called out from across the room, interrupting the weird conversation.

"Crystal, who are you talking to?" It was Jessica Leccia, standing where the camera would normally be mounted. She was dressed for the next scene and had been asked to see if Crystal was ready to continue shooting for the day.


End file.
